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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24602743">the NAP, his kneecaps, my heart: things not to violate</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/anticentristpropaganda/pseuds/anticentristpropaganda'>anticentristpropaganda</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Centricide (Webseries)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>M/M, Slow Burn, but it'll be worth it, heeehheeheheheheeh, like ancap is greedler and ancom is like the gray onceler, okay on another note libunity kinda is oncest, slow fucking burn like this shits gonna take a minute, smashing fascists with ur boyfriend, thats all have a nice day</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 08:07:09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,004</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24602743</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/anticentristpropaganda/pseuds/anticentristpropaganda</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>ancap: the mom of the group done with everyone's shit<br/>tankie: sexy communist that only makes appearances to have a grand display of strength<br/>nazi: douchebag who got cucked by his genetically inferior kneecaps<br/>ancom: nonbinary pterodactyl filled with rage and drugs</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Libunity</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>28</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>the NAP, his kneecaps, my heart: things not to violate</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Beep. Beep. Beeeeeeeep.<br/>
The heart rate monitor pulsed streadily. The white identitarian laid motionless in his bed, blinking awake. </p><p>"Hey look, its the degenerate fucker who broke my kneecaps!" he weakly exclaimed.</p><p>"Hey, uh, dude," muttered Ancom. Qui had no fucking clue what to say. Did qui feel bad? Yeah...maybe...just a lil bit... just  TINY MINUSCULE amount of remorse... no. Qui smirked to quimself, looking at the bandaged nazi strewn out on the hospital bed. His legs were wrapped in bandages, occasionally convulsing due to pain. Yeah, this was pretty entertaining.</p><p>Ancap peered over the side of the bed, but didn't say anything. It wasn't really his place. He couldn't expect Ancom to always respect the NAP.</p><p>Ancom remembered how it all went down.<br/>
Qui remembered being pushed up against a wall, the white identitarian screaming in quis face about black crime statistics and a bunch of nonsense. Qui had enough and kicked both of his knees in the wrong direction, causing him to writhe on the floor in agony. All while Ancap watched in horror.</p><p>A nurse entered the room. "All we need to do is get you in a wheelchair and you'll be good!" she grinned happily. Ancom, however, was even happier. Laughing. Even Ancap smirked, smiling at Ancom's laughing fit. The thought of Nazi in a wheelchair was so amusing to Ancom (not to mention qui wouldn't be the shortest extremist anymore). </p><p>The nurse pushed Nazi out of the hospital, the three other extremists following them out.<br/>
"No really, it's my pleasure." grinned Ancom. Qui took Nazi from the nurse and jerked his wheelchair around until they reached the car.<br/>
"Who's gonna put Nazi in the van?" asked Tankie. Ancap and Ancom stared at their shoes.<br/>
"Oh fine, make me do it you fuckers," spat Tankie, lifting Nazi into the car.</p><p> </p><p>It was silent in the car on the way home.<br/>
Ancap was the first to speak. "Hey, when we get home, we should have an N.A.P. terms discussio-"</p><p>Have you ever heard something so loud it surpasses human definitions of noise? Perhaps you stroll by a speaker at a public event? Or beat your little sister at monoploy? We, as humans, often depict situations in our brains, but nothing we humans can describe as noise can put into words the noise that came out of Ancom's mouth. I would describe it as a sort of<br/>
"REEEEEEEEE ANCAPYOUFUCKINGCAPITALISTSCUMIWILLRIPYOURTHROATOUTOFYOURNECKIFYOUMAKEMEANDTHENAZINOTBEABLETOKICKTHESHITOUTOFEACHOTHER REEEEEE" </p><p>"Now, now Ancom," flinched Ancap. "Now that Nazi is disabled-"</p><p>"CALLMEDISABLEDONEMORETIMEANDI'LLVIOLATETHENAPONYOURGAYDEGENERATEASS" was Nazi's retort.</p><p>"- he belongs to a disadvantaged group. You want to abolish unjust hierarchies, don't you Ancom? Because if you take advantage of his disability, you are no better than him. Now look! There's our house. Let's get to it!" continued Ancap excitedly, tapping his pen on the steering wheel.</p><p>The extremists begrudgingly stumbled out of the car. It was Ancap's, a large Hummer with all sorts of bells and whistles. Ancom didn't tell Ancap, but whenever qui got into Ancap's car qui'd kick quis dirty boots all over the floor just to piss him off. Symbols of the bourgeoisie were just a spook, after all.</p><p>Ancom, Ancap and Nazi took a seat at the dining room table. Ancom and Nazi stared each other down, eyebrows furrowed and teeth clenched. </p><p>"Now, now, are we ready to start this meeting?" grinned Ancap. No money could buy the expression on either of the extremists' faces.</p><p>Ancap caught quick glances at both the extremists. He didn't hate either of them. He and Nazi had rightist unity. He and Ancom had libertarian unity. But, Ancom was a lot less of an ass then Nazi was. The jerk of a hand from muscle to bone to bat (which Ancom had named "Fashy Smashy") to kneecap was an energizing and goofy memory. Seeing the Nazi that thought he had everyone cornered had been defeated by the young, scrawny queer who Nazi thought was useless and degenerate tickled something inside Ancap, too. A warmth, the kind that sits in your stomach like molasses when you haven't felt anything in days.</p><p>He stared at Ancom. And the molasses trickled, trickled down.</p><p>"So, Ancom. The rules of the Non-Aggression Pact are very, very simple. No matter how difficult it may be, do not aggress toward the Nazi. Otherwise, next time it'll be your kneecaps on the line." He pulled out a contract from his briefcase.<br/>
"Sign here. Here, here, here, initials here, signature here, yep there there there, and bam. You're good to go!"</p><p>Nazi stared at Ancap, lips pulled into a sneer and eyes heavy.<br/>
"You're not telling me I have to agree to not "aggress" towards this bat-wielding genderfuck, are you?" he pleaded, voice in the beginnings of a low growl.</p><p>"Well, yes. You see, when Ancom shattered your kneecaps, you still could've aggressed. But you didn't. Now, I can think of two possible conclusions for this. One, Ancom is so strong that the simple action of quis bat on your knee was enough to take an empire down, or Two you're not the ruthless force you say you are. You have a soft spot for the people you claim to hate. So, you could admit to one or both of these very true claims, or you could sign the fucking contract." said Ancap cooly, not breaking eye contact despite his sunglasses shielding his eyes from sight.</p><p>Nazi sat in horror. "You will not, uh, threaten me like this! Treating me like I'm a child when I'm the most terrifying political ideology imaginabl-"</p><p>Nazi looked down. Fashy Smashy was resting comfortably on his knee.<br/>
Ancom wore a shit-eating grin. "Now, I could send you into the hospital, or you could sign. The. Fucking. Contract."</p><p>"Uh, uhhhh," he gulped. "Fine." he mumbled, his pen gliding across the paper with the Ancapistan logo glaring in the bottom right corner. Nazi slid the contract over to Ancap, avoiding eye contact at all costs.</p><p>Ancap and Ancom grinned at each other. Not a bad day for anarchy.</p>
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